
Wine and Waterproof Mascara
I read a little quip recently that said, “All things are possible with coffee and mascara!” I decided to update it a little. “Southern life is easier with a little wine and waterproof mascara!” With summer fast approaching, you just never know when you might need to enjoy a glass of sangria near a body of water!
Life is Easier with Wine and Waterproof Mascara!
Laughter through Tears
When we aren’t swimming or people watching on the beach, southern ladies will glisten while planting tomatoes or sweeping off our screened porch. Once we get that porch swept, we enjoy reading hilarious books written by our favorite authors. My summer author is Mary Kay Andrews.
Mary Kay entertained a group of us recently at The Book Cellar here in Fairhope. My two favorite quotes from her that night…
“The idea for The Weekenders actually came from my editor. She asked me, ‘Who doesn’t want to be a weekender?’ So she did her part! The rest is just typing. Delete. Delete. Delete.”
Then during Q & A, a reader asked if she liked to read her own work. To which she replied,
“Reading your own writing is like giving yourself a pelvic exam with a mirror.”
I left there with a need to reapply my mascara. “Laughter through tears is my favorite emotion,” said Truvy from Steel Magnolias.
You may have a tube of Waterproof Great Lash in your drawer for funerals or swimming, but what about all those times you laugh so hard you cry?
Exercise Affects my Vision
There is one place, however, that I don’t laugh. The gym! Whether I’m just out walking the dog or strength training at the gym, exercise makes my eyes water. I’ve never liked the Racci-Raccoon look. Without waterproof mascara, it is quite possible that my vision will be impaired from the blood, sweat and tears it takes to exercise in our southern humidity. My husband says it’s like breathing soup. My exercise days whether indoors or out, produce drops of sweat that run down my forehead and into my eyes. It reminds me of the scene in Airplane, when Striker has to land the plane. You remember, the scene where the pilot is so scared that he’s sweating as if a shower is running over his face?! I am absolutely stressed to that degree while exercising. My waterproof mascara prevents the smears that would otherwise have me wearing a raccoon mask.
So Embarrassed, I Cried
Snorkeling and scuba diving offer fun and adventurous mask-wearing opportunities. Sometimes. J and I were in Aruba years ago where I “snorkeled” for the first time. Boy, did I wish I’d had the waterproof version on my eyes that day. After about a 5 minute lesson on how to snorkel, our group swam off into a body of water that I didn’t know from Adam’s house cat. In addition to a little trepidation over that, I just couldn’t get the hang of breathing out of that tube. I was terrified that I would accidentally get lost or breathe wrong and drown. The group left me standing in knee deep water where I couldn’t see a thing in front of me while wearing that mask. Sometimes you cry from embarrassment and wish you had a glass of wine.
The only other mask I want to wear is for Mardi Gras in the dead of winter. And that too, involves a little wine and waterproof mascara. You just never know what you might see at a ball or parade. You could be crying over something hilarious or downright shocking. So here in the south, it’s always a good idea to have a tube of waterproof mascara in your handbag and a chilled bottle of wine in the fridge. And when it rains on your parade, you’ll be prepared!
Partying with these utterly fabulous blogs:
Sandra Garth
June 23, 2016 at 3:10 pmThis was so much fun to read!
Leslie Anne Tarabella
June 22, 2016 at 12:13 pmLove MKA! She was a great night of fun as always. So true about laughing through the tears and don’t we love the invention of waterproof mascara? It makes the beach a much prettier place.
Jenna
June 22, 2016 at 8:37 amSo hilarious Kim! I’m putting waterproof mascara on my shopping list! [my fridge is already stocked 🙂 I read the Weekenders in 2 days, love MKA!
Kim Burdette
June 22, 2016 at 8:51 amJenna, I have no doubts that your fridge is already stocked. Hahaha.
Stacey
June 21, 2016 at 10:31 amOh my gosh, I adore you!!
Chloe Crabtree
June 21, 2016 at 10:02 amI love all these quips about life as a Southern Lady! I lived in New Orleans for a period of time and now go between Florida and Ohio. So, I think I may not qualify as a “Southern Lady”, but in all other ways I am. By the way, my theory is that Florida is the only place you have to drive North to get to THE South! I know that is true. Hit South of Ocala and it is 99% Northerners who have just moved! I love Mary Kay Andrews too! I just started The Fixer Upper. At one time my daughter was a kitchen designer at a big box home store and she came in for something. They chatted, how fun!! Thanks so much for sharing over at Celebrate Your Story! Glad to have you at the party!
Kim Burdette
June 21, 2016 at 12:18 pmFunny, Chloe, I’m reading Fixer Upper, too. Thanks for reading and commenting! I try to link up with you ladies every week. Great party!