Wine and Waterproof Mascara
I read a little quip recently that said, “All things are possible with coffee and mascara!” I decided to update it a little. “Southern life is easier with a little wine and waterproof mascara!” With summer fast approaching, you just never know when you might need to enjoy a glass of sangria near a body of water!
Life is Easier with Wine and Waterproof Mascara!
Laughter through Tears
When we aren’t swimming or people watching on the beach, southern ladies will glisten while planting tomatoes or sweeping off our screened porch. Once we get that porch swept, we enjoy reading hilarious books written by our favorite authors. My summer author is Mary Kay Andrews.
Mary Kay entertained a group of us recently at The Book Cellar here in Fairhope. My two favorite quotes from her that night…
“The idea for The Weekenders actually came from my editor. She asked me, ‘Who doesn’t want to be a weekender?’ So she did her part! The rest is just typing. Delete. Delete. Delete.”
Then during Q & A, a reader asked if she liked to read her own work. To which she replied,
“Reading your own writing is like giving yourself a pelvic exam with a mirror.”
I left there with a need to reapply my mascara. “Laughter through tears is my favorite emotion,” said Truvy from Steel Magnolias.
You may have a tube of Waterproof Great Lash in your drawer for funerals or swimming, but what about all those times you laugh so hard you cry?
Exercise Affects my Vision
There is one place, however, that I don’t laugh. The gym! Whether I’m just out walking the dog or strength training at the gym, exercise makes my eyes water. I’ve never liked the Racci-Raccoon look. Without waterproof mascara, it is quite possible that my vision will be impaired from the blood, sweat and tears it takes to exercise in our southern humidity. My husband says it’s like breathing soup. My exercise days whether indoors or out, produce drops of sweat that run down my forehead and into my eyes. It reminds me of the scene in Airplane, when Striker has to land the plane. You remember, the scene where the pilot is so scared that he’s sweating as if a shower is running over his face?! I am absolutely stressed to that degree while exercising. My waterproof mascara prevents the smears that would otherwise have me wearing a raccoon mask.
So Embarrassed, I Cried
Snorkeling and scuba diving offer fun and adventurous mask-wearing opportunities. Sometimes. J and I were in Aruba years ago where I “snorkeled” for the first time. Boy, did I wish I’d had the waterproof version on my eyes that day. After about a 5 minute lesson on how to snorkel, our group swam off into a body of water that I didn’t know from Adam’s house cat. In addition to a little trepidation over that, I just couldn’t get the hang of breathing out of that tube. I was terrified that I would accidentally get lost or breathe wrong and drown. The group left me standing in knee deep water where I couldn’t see a thing in front of me while wearing that mask. Sometimes you cry from embarrassment and wish you had a glass of wine.
The only other mask I want to wear is for Mardi Gras in the dead of winter. And that too, involves a little wine and waterproof mascara. You just never know what you might see at a ball or parade. You could be crying over something hilarious or downright shocking. So here in the south, it’s always a good idea to have a tube of waterproof mascara in your handbag and a chilled bottle of wine in the fridge. And when it rains on your parade, you’ll be prepared!
Partying with these utterly fabulous blogs: